I’ve never, ever thought I was a perfectionist.
Maybe it was because of so many years in corporate America, putting in work I really couldn’t care less about. I wasn’t invested in the outcome, so who really cares?
Is it done? Yes.
Could I have done better? Most likely.
Is it off my plate so I can move to the next thing I don’t care about, and be that much closer to going home? Absolutely.
Fine, next!
But when it comes to stuff I actually (supposedly) WANT to do? Where I’d really like to succeed? Where I care what other people might think about it? Where it REALLY means a lot to me that I do well?
Stuff like this?
Forget it.
Not because it has to be perfect, nothing can be.
But the CONDITIONS for me to even start have to be.
I can’t be afraid of anything. I can’t be worried about if anyone will read it. I can’t be convinced whatever I have to learn is way too hard, or way too much work. I can’t tell myself that there’s no way an editor will accept this pitch, that the idea is too dumb to even waste their time.
I can’t tell myself I’m just not built to be an entrepreneur. I can’t say that putting in all this time to get my SEO nailed down, figuring out how Google Analytics works, setting up my social media and blog posting schedules, reaching out for prospects, signing up on freelance platforms, figuring out rates, learning contracts … I can’t say ANY of that will be an absolute complete waste of time and resources, that all the hard work will be absolutely pointless.
The only way I can even get started is for NONE of that to exist.
Because if I believe any of those things, even one of them, then really, what is the point? Whatever it is I’m about to spend any amount of effort, time, and/or money on will have no chance to succeed. It would all be a total waste.
Better to just cut my losses now and make better use of my precious time — maybe have a beer and catch a Columbo rerun.
Recently it’s occurred to me that I’ve been struggling putting up all this “infrastructure” to get my freelance career going. No real plan, just stabbing at tasks here and there, spinning wheels.
Meanwhile, I’ve barely written a word.
Today, for some reason I can’t put my finger on, I told myself, “Just write, dammit! And post it! If no one reads it, who cares?”
So that’s what I’ve just done. Tomorrow (and the day after, and the day after that) might be more waiting for the “perfect” moment to get going on something.
Today, I’ve written and published something. The comments could be a mile-long screed about how horrible it is. But right now, things are just perfect enough for me to put this out there.
[Hits “publish.” Winces. Gets on with life.]